Posted by sadomasokitten on October 24, 2006
Ask anyone what they think a porn shoot is like and I’m sure you’ll get many answers. I have been involved with many shoots on every level – as purrformer, model, director, costumer, cameraperson, dildo-wrangler – and can say that it’s one of those experiences that everyone in world should have once: because once is usually enough.
The fantasy usually goes something like this (insert or force tongue firmly into cheek here): The folks behind the scenes spend hours and hours getting everything ready, they want the background, costumes, and scenario to be absolutely perfect. Nothing is left to chance. Nothing is forgotten, in fact everyone makes sure to bring extras of everything – condoms, lube, toys, lights, batteries – as well as some tasty, upscale food to folks to munch on (don’t want anyone having an energy dip!). The surroundings are always luxurious and plush – nothing but the best for our performers! Fine hotels, upscale houses, top-notch Hollywood sets, it’s all here. Everyone arrives ontime and in a good mood, ready to put in 100% to make this the best damn porno ever made.
Then precisely on time, the talent arrives. Fresh as a daisy after a full 8 hours of sleep and a light, healthy breakfast of fruit (don’t want to ruin this morning’s enema!), freshly scrubbed and smelling of flowers or clean linen, they walk in and greet everyone with a hearty hello and the European double kiss! They bring with them large bags with several changes of costume (just in case!), a few pairs of shoes, lots of extra panties and accessories, their own toys and dildos, a pouch of their favorite condoms and a tube of their favorite lube. As they sit down, they find the person in charge and hand over their AIM test results and 2 forms of valid ID and smile prettily while holding them up to their faces so the cameraperson takes a few shots to satisfy recordkeeping requirements. Why wait for anyone to ask?
Then it’s off to makeup and hair. The female talent has made sure that they’re nice and clean, and freshly shampooed. And would you look at that, they’ve even brought some of their own makeup and favorite hairspray to share with the makeup artist and hairperson! We can all hear them giggling in front of the mirror as they have to only spend a few minutes to make all of the girls jaw-droppingly beautiful. The male talent are always ready for their close-up, and made sure to add a few extra sets of bicep curls and crunches to their ordinary workout schedule, just so that they will be more defined and look better for you in closeup. And imagine that, they took the time to get a decent tan and you can just smell the Irish Spring every time they walk by.
This all takes but a few moments (as everyone is naturally gorgeous and needs so little makeup, hair, or other cosmetic enhancements) and then the talent steps out, ready to have a pleasant little chat with the director and cameraperson about today’s filming. But basically, everyone is just ready to go! We all form a circle and say the Porno Prayer (please God, bless our little film…) raise our hands in a group “Whooo!!!!” and then it’s time to start.
Now it’s time to get to the sex. Since everyone is so incredibly beautiful (and you know that only beautiful people can have beautiful sex), absolutely no direction is required to get exactly the shots that are needed… the talent already know exactly what to do, when to do it, how far to pull the hair, pussy, balls, ass aside so that the camera can see the action so everything is just all engines go! Players are added and taken off the field at just the right moments so that no one gets too fatigued, and we always have our best players “in motion”. Once a player has been called off the field they are patted down with a moist towel and given a big fluffy robe and slippers, maybe some hot cocoa with those little tiny marshmallows to make sure they’re nice and comfy and ready for their next scene.
No one ever says stop, or that’s too hard, or that’s not in my contract, it’s all about taking one for the team and always giving the camera the right expression. After all, we can always talk about it later, after the action is over! Because how many women that you know would reasonably object to being fucked by an “extra” guy they’ve never met, being tied with their hands way above their heads for an hour or so, or a little double anal penetration? It’s a given – they’re PORN STARS after all – so what if the bukakke wasn’t planned? Hey we’ve got everyone here, the camera is rolling, and the guys are all ready to cum so why not?
If anything goes wrong or not as planned, we just call it a “blooper” – our fans love to see that stuff anyway – so it’s never a wasted moment and everyone just has a good laugh.
Oh, and EVERYONE has an orgasm. A real, visible one. On cue.
Once the filming is over, everyone applauds the good work, and we have a group hug. Then each person peels off to get themselves all fresh again and makes sure to take only the things/costumes/toys they came with. On the way out (since it’s so crass to talk about money – this is art!) each performer is handed an envelope with their day’s pay inside, a thank you card, and a little mint. The crew cleans up quickly, making sure to leave the studio in better condition than they found it, and they all go out for a few brewskis and talk about how great the days shoot was, and how much they all can’t wait to work together again.
Stay tuned for Part Two – The Reality